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Thursday, 20 January 2011


As far as bad ideas go, bullfighting is one of them.
Particularly if that bull is me.
My desire to dissipate grows daily, and so does my longing to make an impact on the world.
Evidently, my anthema is unaware of such feelings, and resorts to taunting.
He will pay, one day - such a terrible thing to say, but I owe it to myself, I am the enforcer of my own judgement. I decide on what is right and wrong and punish people accordingly.
Disgust strikes the faces of anyone who I invite to the sanctum of such emotion.
"But that's illegal!" The consequence of my actions leading to a fear of incarceration. In reality, if I acted upon my desire for vengeance, my aims would have been completed. The state cannot cage a dead man. Their sanction is flawed. Retribution is simply sophistry. I have learnt to hate myself for such desires; not the greatest plan for one who feels life is not worth living. We are taught to respect life, as humans; however, respect must be earnt, and I fear I have not just been dealt a bad hand, but I have been hustled.
Vengeance is all that stops me from becoming a memory. So far I have resisted temptation, but I must view my rage as a fatalist. I have truly lost control over myself. Let's hope this malediction is cured with monotony and anguish.
If taunted again, I forcee that my daydreaming wrath will become reality. For such weakness, and such strength, I am sorry.

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